Definition of Life

One of my best friends likes to point out on regular occasions (Usually when I'm facing disastrous situations ) how 'hilarious' she finds my life.


I think the word she actually means is 'tragic'.


But it's true, it is regularly that these events happen.


Recently, my mum, my sister and I had a trip planned for a spa day (Champney's all the way). We were picking up my sister on the way and my mum and I were all packed and ready to go.




Now, my parents have long installed a strong sense of security in me and I had to endure plenty of conversations about the research of the 'best type' of doors and door handles.
You may wonder if there's much to think about with regard to door handles but my god, shapes, lengths, handle direction, thickness.... I could go on (but don't want you to realise how deeply uncool I am for knowing this stuff).

So anyway, we have some extremely secure front door that I can't really believe isn't made of titanium....
We also have the handle to match.


What the hell does this all have to do with going to a spa I hear you ask.
Well, just to go a bit further, when you have your key in the door-lock from inside the house, if you were to put a key in from the outside, it won't let you unlock the door. (This still has nothing to do with spas Madison!!)

SO, my mother had unlocked the door (from the inside) and we were walking out the door, finally (because it takes so long to get ready to go somewhere that requires no make-up, jewellery or clothes other than a bikini....).
Her phone rings. I carry on walking. Then I hear a 'Shit!'

Next thing I know I'm being eyed suspiciously by people walking by my house because I have my arm through the letter box, upto my elbow or because I'm taking my arm out of the letter box and in my hand is a re-shaped wire hanger.


Yep, I'm breaking into my own house. My mother has left her keys in the door and then closed the door.
We can not get in. Her car keys are on the set of keys also. My key won't work because her key is in the lock.

So instead I'm trying to pull down the handle with a wire coat hanger that I had to ask my neighbour for and alternating with trying to hook the keys out of the door.



Welcome to my life.