Adults In The Playground (Slight Rant Ending Warning )

I found myself waiting (waitressing) on a woman yesterday evening that I soon found out to be a total bitch.

My manager had informed me that we needed to take a drink off her bill on behalf of the General Manager because she'd recently put into a complaint to head office about the cleanliness of the toilets there. (Of course she hadn't actually bothered to mention it to the manager of our place. No. Because that would be the logical thing to do wouldn't it?)

Anyway. I bust my ass (excuse the expression-Fawlty Towers reference) making sure she and her friends had a good meal (although later was unsure why...).

Sounds a bit like a boring rant I know but this is where things started to click for me. My manager had named the woman to me and it rang a bell in my mind. Oh yes. Yes. She was the mother of a girl who I went to school with.... A girl who was a complete bitch.

Yep, this two faced nature of not talking about a problem with the person actually involved/responsible was like having a back and forth deja-vu. I could see clearly now where this girl had got her snide streak from- Her mother.

When you're at school you think that you won't have to be involved with these people anymore. It's fine, you think, I won't have to see them and experience this pettyness anymore!
And then you have to serve their mother in a restaurant and it's like being back in the playground all over again.

I do realise that it doesn't sound like a complete bitch of a thing for this woman to do but it's everything else around it that I won't go in to otherwise I'll just be writing a detailed entry about my shift at work.

Anyway. To back up my annoyance with this. She tipped me 2.5%. That's two point five percent. *



*It's a huge insult to any member of waiting staff to be tipped so poorly (unless you've actually been shit) - I'd prefer to earn no service than a meagre amount. A tip is meant to be given for good service so to be given a  really poor tip (not just a bit below 10% but way below) is like being told you've given bad service. If someone doesn't tip at all you can brush it off that they're just people who don't tip at all no matter how good the service is and some people can tip you in a non-financial way by just being so damn nice and non-demanding.

Degrade Yourself

I've always had quite an undecided opinion on the topic of what constitutes as 'degrading yourself', particularly when it comes to porn/having sex/nude modeling, etc.

I'm stuck somewhere between two poles of agreeing that if you're in control of a situation then to make money from it is your perogotive...if you can make money from the weakness of a man/woman then who can call that degrading? Who's the one paying to see something?
The other end is a very uneasy feeling that comes from the traditionalist view that your body is a temple. Stemming from the belief that only someone you love (potentially marry if we're going that far into it) should have the opportunity to see your body.


A quote from Pure Filth magazine (roughly):


'I don't think it's degrading when I'm lying next to a pool, in the sunshine, with a hot girl going down on me and I'm getting paid for it.'

It sounds awesome. Although I have also heard stories involving multiple pissing scenes on freezing cold sets and ending up with a kidney infection...

I have to say though, who doesn't have bad days with their job?

Anyway. I came further on in forming my opinion today while in the shower (think tank).

If a band 'go mainstream' then they 'lose respect' from people for supposedly making music for the sake of making money and not because they're making something because it's what they're creating. Degrading themselves.

If an artist becomes 'mainstream' and makes art to make money and not because they want to express something then they lose respect from their peers. They are degrading themselves.

So I guess in a way, having sex for money or baring your body for money, if we're going along in the same way, means that you are degrading yourself.

But you know what. Those muscians, those artists and those people are making a living for themselves doing something that they enjoy and there are a hell of a lot of people that would be damn pissed off without them around.

Lyric Time Fun

If you want me,
You're gonna have to catch me ,
If you wanna touch my ****
And if you catch me,
You're gonna have to show me,
How bad you really want my ****

Sorry for the slightly lame lyrics thiiing. I'm not usually one to cheat using lyrics to describe my thoughts.
I am in terrible need of some kind of relief though. Sexual frustration is so high that I'm resorting to eating a lot instead. I've eaten so many sweets that my eyes are watering.
My body can probably only withstand this for about another day I estimate.


Now. Just going to finish off my Champagne before I go to bed.

Summers Past and Present

Days like this today just remind me of the time I spent as a teenager hanging out at a big park.

I wrote about these days in some detail as it was going on. One day I intended to turn it into a novel. Until I forgot everything....

'“Oh Suzy, you’re such a fucking bitch, if you lived in the sixteenth century, they’d burn you as a witch. Oh Suzy, you’re such a fucking whore, if you mess with me again, you’ll burn in hell for sure.” Shelly, Sophie, Anna and I all sung along to Gary as he sung the song he wrote himself against an acoustic guitar about an ex girlfriend.'


God those days seem so long ago. The same days when all I used to do was buy underwear (okay, not much change there) and my gay best friend would rummage through my bags, hold a g-string up and loudly exclaim, 'You could slice cheese with this!'

And I enjoyed fawning over cute boys a lot and wanting to kiss them.
Yeah. Actually this still sounds like my life now....

Lynx For Women

Dear lord, what fresh hell is this?

Lynx for WOMEN. I can't imagine how a fragrance that appears to be made for men by men can translate into a women's fragrance...

As I got Tweeted today; Lynx is for boys who want to cover up the smell of masturbating in their room.

Well said.

Epidemic In The Porn World

I recently caught up with one of my friends who works in porn and while I was with her she got the news that throat gonorrhea was spreading around the industry.

A girl who works as an escort outside of porn had been giving unprotected blow jobs to the men she sees.
Within two weeks, most of the porn community needed to be treated for the infection from being exposed to it.

I'm aware of how quickly viruses can be contracted but to see it in terms of people having to call all the people they've worked with telling them to be treated... I guess it's strange to see the amount of time it took to inform the relevant people. What if you had to call everyone you'd touched in the last week because you'd contracted flu?

Anyway, I got to learn about gonorrhea. Which I suppose may be usueful in the future... I didn't even know you could contract it in the throat or indeed, different places...
Questions were googled such as; How long does it take after you've had sex with someone with the infection before you're 'contagious'? (Straight Away.) Can you get throat gonorrhea from someone just by kissing them? (Yes but it has to be a deep kiss and a long one...) How long do you have to wait to have sex again after being treated? (A week but you should wait to be re-tested to confirm the treatment has worked.)

So the porn industry are all semi-out of action now for a couple of weeks and I'm just glad I don't have to go through the treatment! (An injection in your bum and a load of anti-biotics.)


Just remember how easy it is to contract something.

Stay safe.

Men Are Like Buses

Men are like buses. None at all and then several at once. V frustrating.

Especially with the reappearance of my ex. He'd be the equivalent of a bus turning up that's not going where I want to go.

So. The Ex. He's trying to turn his charm onto me. Playing the wounded soldier.
I couldn't go back though. I re-thought my stance on having children for him when he suddenly announced that he definitely wanted kids in his future.
Are you crazy Madison??!
Yes, yes I was. Crazy in love. Blergh. I'd never reconsidered this before.
Although, it'd never been an issue before as none of my previous exes had ever wanted children either.

Thankfully though, I won't be falling for it this time! Oh, no! He can hold onto his phone number and I'll hold onto my eggs. Ta.

Everytime I See or Hear Someone Giving Birth On TV.....

....It makes my fallopian tubes tie themselves in a knot.

To Die By Your Side Is Such A Heavenly Way To Die...

I used to think that love would be something that would come easily.
It did come easily.
I've fallen in love several times, each time more intense than the last. Each time realising that love isn't something that just happens, just like happiness isn't something that just happens... It continues and it either grows or wilts and fades away...

My parents for instance. They were my true life fairytale.
Met at a New Years party.
My mother was there feeling a bit down, she'd recently been dumped by her fiancee, the supposed love of her life.
My father was ten years older than her.
Less than eleven months later they're getting married and my mother is already 2 months pregnant with my sister.... (I'm not going to say the figures but they're almost at their ruby anniversary now )

I thought this was true love. Fast, intense and lasting.
Until one day I asked my parents how my dad had proposed.... Expecting some grand story I was severely disappointed....
Dad: I didn't ask her to marry me...
Me: What do you mean?!
Mum: Well, we just decided to get married.
Me: You...decided?
Dad: Yes, we wanted to run a pub together and in those days you had to be married.
Me: ....

Pretty much the day when my dreams were shot down.
Anyhow. I soon realised that love isn't really as simple as everyone would like you to believe.

Like now. I want to be with someone so desperately. It just isn't that simple...