Monday, 28 May 2012

Yaaaay

I finally got round to renewing my sex toy testing membership and got sent my first one to test last weekend. Only issue now? Oh yeah. It doesn't fucking work!

I need to buy new batteries :(

Saturday, 28 April 2012

Playing For The Other Team

Hola!

Yes, I realise it's been a short while since I last updated. I've been a busy bee keeping up with my work.

Of late I've given the other side of the camera a go. Yes. I have become Model De Jour. Haha.
No, really.

To be clear, I don't believe for one minute that I could ever be an actual model (although, compared to some of the people out there that call themselves 'models' I'm like Agness Deyn) so there won't be any new career aspirations for me in the future.
No, that kind of under-the-microscope scrutiny of each and every flaw that I have is not for me and not only can it be a mental pain but a physical one as well. Do you know how much work it is to contort, elongate, stretch and enhance your body? All whilst usually balancing in heels?

I didn't go into it toe first either. Straight into the deep end in underwear and suspenders! And then nothing but some tights and a belt....
Don't even get me started on the latex gloves. I have no idea how people wear dresses made of the stuff! It took me about twenty minutes to get them up my arms and then soon after they started cutting off my blood circulation....I had marks on my arms that looked like I'd be self harming for about a week afterwards.


Anyway, apart from all the negatives of posing in front of a camera it's quite fun to have all the attention on me I suppose and I like having end results that I can look back on in years to come and think 'Damn, I had a great body!'

Sunday, 15 April 2012

Lost and Found

I seem to have lost my ex-boyfriend. Could somebody please find him for me?

Wednesday, 4 April 2012

Attire For Life

Trying to indulge my consumerist addiction on yoox.com and came across these D&G trousers....
Personally I wouldn't wear them but what got my attention was the description that came with it:

D&G
Casual Trousers



Erm, dude, I'm pretty sure these aren't casual trousers...
Yeah, I'm just gonna get some milk from the supermarket and when I'm back I'm gonna plant those flowers I've had for a while. Yeah. In my sequin trousers. What of it? They're casual.

Monday, 2 April 2012

Alice Dellal Pour Chanel

I haven't had a spelling lapse, just thought I'd write it in the language of Coco....

I just had to have a (controversial) rant about Alice Dellal for Chanel (below). Everyone's raving about how amazing it is, inclusive of laddered and holes in tights, blah, blah, blah.

But. Coco Chanel would never have had holes in her tights! Let alone let it near her fashion line!
Come on, Chanel! What were you thinking?

Saturday, 31 March 2012

Adults In The Playground (Slight Rant Ending Warning )

I found myself waiting (waitressing) on a woman yesterday evening that I soon found out to be a total bitch.

My manager had informed me that we needed to take a drink off her bill on behalf of the General Manager because she'd recently put into a complaint to head office about the cleanliness of the toilets there. (Of course she hadn't actually bothered to mention it to the manager of our place. No. Because that would be the logical thing to do wouldn't it?)

Anyway. I bust my ass (excuse the expression-Fawlty Towers reference) making sure she and her friends had a good meal (although later was unsure why...).

Sounds a bit like a boring rant I know but this is where things started to click for me. My manager had named the woman to me and it rang a bell in my mind. Oh yes. Yes. She was the mother of a girl who I went to school with.... A girl who was a complete bitch.

Yep, this two faced nature of not talking about a problem with the person actually involved/responsible was like having a back and forth deja-vu. I could see clearly now where this girl had got her snide streak from- Her mother.

When you're at school you think that you won't have to be involved with these people anymore. It's fine, you think, I won't have to see them and experience this pettyness anymore!
And then you have to serve their mother in a restaurant and it's like being back in the playground all over again.

I do realise that it doesn't sound like a complete bitch of a thing for this woman to do but it's everything else around it that I won't go in to otherwise I'll just be writing a detailed entry about my shift at work.

Anyway. To back up my annoyance with this. She tipped me 2.5%. That's two point five percent. *



*It's a huge insult to any member of waiting staff to be tipped so poorly (unless you've actually been shit) - I'd prefer to earn no service than a meagre amount. A tip is meant to be given for good service so to be given a  really poor tip (not just a bit below 10% but way below) is like being told you've given bad service. If someone doesn't tip at all you can brush it off that they're just people who don't tip at all no matter how good the service is and some people can tip you in a non-financial way by just being so damn nice and non-demanding.

Friday, 30 March 2012

Degrade Yourself

I've always had quite an undecided opinion on the topic of what constitutes as 'degrading yourself', particularly when it comes to porn/having sex/nude modeling, etc.

I'm stuck somewhere between two poles of agreeing that if you're in control of a situation then to make money from it is your perogotive...if you can make money from the weakness of a man/woman then who can call that degrading? Who's the one paying to see something?
The other end is a very uneasy feeling that comes from the traditionalist view that your body is a temple. Stemming from the belief that only someone you love (potentially marry if we're going that far into it) should have the opportunity to see your body.


A quote from Pure Filth magazine (roughly):


'I don't think it's degrading when I'm lying next to a pool, in the sunshine, with a hot girl going down on me and I'm getting paid for it.'


It sounds awesome. Although I have also heard stories involving multiple pissing scenes on freezing cold sets and ending up with a kidney infection...
I have to say though, who doesn't have bad days with their job?

Anyway. I came further on in forming my opinion today while in the shower (think tank).

If a band 'go mainstream' then they 'lose respect' from people for supposedly making music for the sake of making money and not because they're making something because it's what they're creating. Degrading themselves.

If an artist becomes 'mainstream' and makes art to make money and not because they want to express something then they lose respect from their peers. They are degrading themselves.

So I guess in a way, having sex for money or baring your body for money, if we're going along in the same way, means that you are degrading yourself.

But you know what. Those muscians, those artists and those people are making a living for themselves doing something that they enjoy and there are a hell of a lot of people that would be damn pissed off without them around.
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