Weird people habits

My flatmate has been in the bathroom for over an hour.

I realise this might not sound like grounds for odd (or even interesting) behaviour but there's no running water, no shower, no bath, no washing anyway. One can only presume she's hoping to go the same way as Elvis?

I just don't understand how it's possible. What do people do in there for that long? Please someone share.

Weird stuff men are into. Vol. 1

So, it's been a long a while since I posted here. Apparently 6 years. But after some deep soul searching I have been getting the urge to write once again.

Life is very different for me nowadays, mainly due to the fact that I don't get to have sex anywhere near the amount I would like to and therefore lack on witty observations of the male character.

I do have a whole host of stories from working in the sex industry though (yep, that happened) and particularly the joy of those adult 'babe' channels where (usually) men call in to women sexily draped around on various furniture. I predominantly used to be behind the camera, so observing all the odd things men used to say or request of the girls was part of the fun/amusement/job.

So first, we'll go through quite run of the mill fetish requests, you know, things that you may not have heard of but that are generally accepted genres of fetish;

• Armpits; looking at, imagining dick rubbed up against armpit and cue the girls holding up their arm and trying to look hot still while kind of just appearing that they have a scratch somewhere
• Baby oil; we went through this by the bucket loads, it looks great on camera, good for your skin, not good for your genitals and an absolute bitch to wash off your body and/or hair. Anyway, I digress. We sometimes had this little 'treat' where we had a paddling pool of water (which was a massive risk with all the electronics around I tell you), cue, loads of men whinging online that it should be baby oil and why couldn't we do baby oil and it would look so much better if it was baby oil. 
• Feet; okay, so this is a well known one but specifics which I still just can't get are; 'wrinkly soles' where the girls used to have to hold their feet up right to the camera and scrunch up their toes so the underside would become wrinkly (the word 'soles' actually still makes me shudder). Then men on the phone would then beg for a close up of said 'wrinkly soles', cue, losing 100 viewers who just want to see booty.
• Jeans; some men would absolutely beg for the girls to wear jeans which of course would then annoy all the men who just wanted to see booty. 
• Piercings; again, doesn't seem so strange but some of these guys want to see close ups of ears and get mad when you won't zoom in because..yep, you've got it, majority of men just want to watch the booty and not see video of ears while they're jacking off.
• Shoes; again, quite common, but this is specific to the much requested, shoe hanging off the toes like it's going to drop. I wish I had insight into what it is about this specific that made them go mad. 

So. Yep. I actually was intending to continue with weird stuff men are into that are less widely understood fetishes but I think this list is actually quite enough for today!