Tuesday 13 July 2010

Tipping point of life

My experience with death rings out almost exactly as the book/play 'An Inspector Calls'.
The book where one family has a profound effect on a woman's suicide and no one can establish who the fault lay with.
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-First of all the father, the head of the family, fired her from his workhouse after all the workers went on strike. He denies any involvement.

-Next, the daughter of the family was helped by her in a department store. When being jealous of the pretty worker because the dress she tried on was awful and she knew the woman would look perfect in it, she had her fired. She told her bosses that she was rude and that if they didn't fire her she'd make sure they no longer got her family's custom.

-Next, the eldest daughter's fiancee admitted to hiring her as a prostitute and after promised to 'save her'. He put her up in an apartment and gave her an allowance for food, etc. He kept her as his silent mistress and shamelessly decided to throw her out shortly after deciding he would propose to the woman he was courting.

-The mother, then realises that she has also had an encounter with her. Under a false name the woman came to the mother at the charity she runs to help women.
The woman by this time was pregnant and told her that she wouldn't except any money from the father as it was stolen.
She was desperate and penniless but the mother convinced the rest of the workers at the charity that then woman was lying about her story and turned her away. The mother refuses responsibility and says the blame lies with the father of the baby.

-Finally, the son of the family admitted that he was the one who made the woman pregnant after meeting her out one night. He explains that he forced himself upon her even though she refused to have sex with him. It's unspoken truth that he raped her.
When he found out she was pregnant he stole money from his father's business to pay her off but she refused the stolen money.

At having no help, the woman poisoned herself with bleach, she and her unborn child died.
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The tipping scales for my suicide came when a heartless boy (he's definitely not worthy of being called a man) aggrevated my thoughts and made fun of my desperate attempts to be saved.

A friend didn't do what she could to save me from the drugs poisoning me further.

Previous to this, so many events contributed to the end. A big one being a boyfriend split up with me disrespectfully and having his new girlfriend begin a tirade of abuse against me.
He didn't help me one time I reached out for help. This made me lose faith in people.

Boyfriends treating me horribly, believing I was worthless and taking drugs and drinking to escape, being let down too many times, losing faith, having friends not care, having friends go away and beliving that I belonged with a group of low-lifes.

Cause and effect, one thing after another that at the final point was a small, final tip of the scales that caused me to give it all up.

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